You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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