Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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