you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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