I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize