dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
