An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize