I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
she peed on how many people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize