Moan for me like Helen Keller
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
