I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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