Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
