all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
