I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
