Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
