i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize