You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
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Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
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You brought string cheese to the strip club
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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