Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
i wish my penis had a tongue
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
My bed smells like the plague
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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