I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
