Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
