how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
