Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
