So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
