Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
