plz talk dirty to me
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
