My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize