o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Randomize
