I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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