I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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