I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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