Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
