Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Drake has all the answers
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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