dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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