actually, I'm a sock model
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
