That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
