Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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