Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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