there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Randomize
