My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize