I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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