why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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