Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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