He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize