now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize
