She is in my trunk
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
