Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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