Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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