Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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