question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
