Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
