I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
