I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize