I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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