Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
