she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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