census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.