walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.