I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
