the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
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