I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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