"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
pray to the hookup gods
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
