Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
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he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
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He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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