does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I wish i was in the wii world.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
