Wat do u mean how?
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
its like you know when i get waxed
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?