Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(432): View more from Texas

"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun

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(802): View more from Vermont

clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(913): View more from Kansas

When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.

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(404): View more from Georgia

I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.

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(913): View more from Kansas

as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up

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(860): View more from Connecticut

if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?

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