"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?