Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(330): View more from Ohio

Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.

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(330): Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy. http://tfl.nu/mi86

Replies (85) Good night (2225) Bad night (6347)
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(315): View more from New York

and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...

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(315): and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame... http://tfl.nu/05iu

Replies (8) Good night (2722) Bad night (1143)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.

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(404): Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center. http://tfl.nu/it0q

Replies (18) Good night (1052) Bad night (4516)
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(623): View more from Arizona

As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.

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(623): As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know. http://tfl.nu/mc6n

Replies (8) Good night (2546) Bad night (1026)
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(770): View more from Georgia

If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?

(910): View more from North Carolina

That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?

(770): View more from Georgia

Touche.

(910): View more from North Carolina

I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.

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(770): If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door? (910): That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating? (770): Touche. (910): I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR. http://tfl.nu/rwye

Replies (6) Good night (4104) Bad night (999)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.

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(502): She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do. http://tfl.nu/zxpe

Replies (19) Good night (2319) Bad night (1012)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is

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(724): Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is http://tfl.nu/t84q

Replies (4) Good night (996) Bad night (548)
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(719): View more from Colorado

As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.

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(719): As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF. http://tfl.nu/ti4u

Replies (3) Good night (1310) Bad night (683)
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(206): View more from Washington

I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...

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(206): I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him... http://tfl.nu/o74a

Replies (6) Good night (930) Bad night (553)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday

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(724): On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday http://tfl.nu/c6y1

Replies (3) Good night (1466) Bad night (499)
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(614): View more from Ohio

I was convinced to buy a man thong.

(614): View more from Ohio

But it's Armani so it's okay.

(614): View more from Ohio

God I just out gayed myself.

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(614): I was convinced to buy a man thong. (614): But it's Armani so it's okay. (614): God I just out gayed myself. http://tfl.nu/dlfj

Replies (5) Good night (1200) Bad night (798)
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(425): View more from Washington

My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer

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(425): My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer http://tfl.nu/p8ct

Replies (2) Good night (1047) Bad night (372)
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(425): View more from Washington

She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around

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(425): She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around http://tfl.nu/v7uu

Replies (5) Good night (875) Bad night (357)
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(954): View more from Florida

I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.

(941): View more from Florida

Oh at the liquor store again?

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(954): I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board. (941): Oh at the liquor store again? http://tfl.nu/01vl

Replies (0) Good night (693) Bad night (349)
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(316): View more from Kansas

You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.

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(316): You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza. http://tfl.nu/b79k

Replies (4) Good night (455) Bad night (993)

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