I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
These 25 Soulless Industries Have Been Scamming Us For Years
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
These 21 People Got Piercings And It Improved Their Sex Life
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?