Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
