one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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