i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
